Abusers tend to have many characteristics in common:
1. Jealousy (often imagine their partner is having affairs)
2. Try to isolate their partner
3. Try to control their partner
4. Jekyll and Hyde personalities
5 . May have other problems with the law
6 . Explosive temper; flies into rage without provocation
7 . Tells partner it is all her fault; projects own faults onto partner
8 . Verbal assault (insults, put-downs, slanderous names)
9 . Come from families where abuse was practiced
10. May be more violent when partner is pregnant or soon after giving birth
11. Deny the beatings or their severity; seem not to remember
12. Will do whatever it takes to drive partner away, then whatever it takes to get her back: grab the kid, or apologize profusely, send her flowers, cry real tears, promise anything (and they know exactly what she wants to hear) - I'll go to church with or you, or counseling, or I'll stop drinking and I'll never hit you again, etc.
Once partner returns, performance is repeated: whatever it takes to drive her away, followed by whatever it takes to get her back...
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