PROFILE OF AN ABUSER
Abusers tend to have many characteristics in common:

1. Jealousy (often imagine their partner is having affairs)

2. Try to isolate their partner

3. Try to control their partner

4. Jekyll and Hyde personalities

5 . May have other problems with the law

6 . Explosive temper; flies into rage without provocation

7 . Tells partner it is all her fault; projects own faults onto partner

8 . Verbal assault (insults, put-downs, slanderous names)

9 . Come from families where abuse was practiced

10. May be more violent when partner is pregnant or soon after giving birth

11. Deny the beatings or their severity; seem not to remember

12. Will do whatever it takes to drive partner away, then whatever it takes to get her back: grab the kid, or apologize profusely, send her flowers, cry real tears, promise anything (and they know exactly what she wants to hear) - I'll go to church with or you, or counseling, or I'll stop drinking and I'll never hit you again, etc.

Once partner returns, performance is repeated: whatever it takes to drive her away, followed by whatever it takes to get her back…